| Woody | Allen | American film director, writer, actor, and comedian. |
| Matthew | Barney | American contemporary artist and film director. |
| Jean-Michel | Basquiat | American artist of Haitian and Puerto Rican descent. |
| David | Copperfield | American magician. |
| Zooey | Deschanel | American actress, model, and singer-songwriter. |
| David | Greene | American journalist. |
| Stephen R. | Johnson | American music video director, television director. |
| Lorin | Maazel | American conductor, violinist and composer. |
| Rachel | Maddow | American television program host. |
| Angela | Merkel | Chancellor of Germany. |
| Peter | Miller | Canadian actor. |
| François | Mitterrand | Former President of France. |
| Barack | Obama | 44th U.S. President. |
| Mike | Pence | Vice President of the United States. |
| Marco | Polo | A Venetian merchant, explorer, and writer. |
| André | Previn | German-American pianist, composer, and conductor. |
| Vladimir | Putin | Russian President. |
| JonBenét | Ramsey | American child beauty queen who was killed at the age of six. |
| Ronald | Reagan | 40th U.S. President. |
| Adam | Sandler | American actor, comedian, and filmmaker. |
| Harry | Styles | English singer, songwriter. |
| Pyotr Ilyich | Tchaikovsky | Russian composer. |
| Denzel | Washington | American actor, director, and producer. |
| George Herman | Washington | The owner of the house. aka: G.H. |
| Mrs. | Weston | Amanda's neighbor. |
| Dr. | Wilcox | Archie's physician. |
| Amanda | | An account director. Clay's wife. |
| Archie | | Clay and Amanda's son. |
| Beckett | | One of Maya's children. |
| Björk | | An Icelandic singer, songwriter, record producer, actress, and DJ. |
| Brian | | One of Amanda's brothers. |
| Caravaggio | | Italian painter. |
| Clara | | A professor of classics at Mount Holyoke. |
| Clay | | A professor. |
| Danny | | G.H. acquaintance. |
| Darnell | | Rose's counselor. |
| Dillon | | Archie's friend. |
| Emma | | Danny and Karen's daughter. |
| George V | | Former King of the United Kingdom. |
| Hazel | | Rosie's friend |
| Henry | | Danny and Karen's son. |
| James | | Clara's brother. |
| Jason | | One of Amanda's brothers. |
| Jocelyn | | An account supervisor. |
| Karen | | Danny's wife. |
| Martika | | Peter's wife. |
| Maya | | The headmaster of a Montessori school. |
| Nadine | | The matriarch. |
| Otto | | One of Maya's children. |
| Peter | | Clay and Amanda's friend. |
| Rosa | | A housekeeper. |
| Rose | | Clay and Amanda's daughter. aka: Rosie |
| Ruth | | G.H.'s wife. |
